I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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