he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
