so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
