Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
