In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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