Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
