Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
MIDGETS
????
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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