Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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