dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
of course. lets lasso hookers.
vagina is talking i cant
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize