You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
