I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
