Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
