I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
