why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
