Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
