just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize