Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize