Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
