it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
