If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
