no. you can't hotbox the world.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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