saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
