Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
