need another drink. this is the easiest way
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
