idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
only if we run a train.
done.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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