You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
