gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
