hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
