So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
