What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
