clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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