Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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