Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
