Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
