do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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