After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
