he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
