I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
