Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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