what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
