Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
