my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
do nipples grow back?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
