you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
