I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Farmville is her only friend.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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