So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
