2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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