He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
