Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
