C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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