margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
