end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
