the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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