Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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