Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
