At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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