The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
