You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
