Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
