youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
