Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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