Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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