check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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