you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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