Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
