Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
