Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
