He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
